Honestly the build up to cancer is horrible, I remember not being able to eat for weeks. I would crumble and cry every 10 minutes because I just couldn’t get the what ifs out of my mind.
What happens before you get diagnosed with cancer?
After being admitted to my local hospital, and after being poked and prodded, the emergency department ordered a CT scan for me. If the cancer wasn’t going to kill me, the waiting sure would. I hated waiting for results. Half the day later, the doctor working that day called me and mum into a separate room to talk… uh oh, to be honest I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was along the lines of…
“There’s a large mass in your chest, and it looks like one of your lungs has collapsed. The large mass is most likely lymphoma but we will need to do a biopsy to check if it’s lymphoma or another type of cancer.”
There it is. The word cancer. That’s all I really heard. And cue the tears…
They made the decision to send me home and pass me onto a specialised clinic in Oxford in a few weeks. Wrong decision.
My breathing was declining rapidly sat at home. I couldn’t make it up the stairs anymore. I could barely stand up without feeling breathless. I requested to have our fan on at all time just so I could feel the oxygen flow through my lungs.
My dad called out the emergency doctor and she wasn’t happy with my oxygen levels. So back I was at my local hospital. Another CT scan… this time, I was blue lighted to the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford and they took care of me.
This time during my stay in a hospital, I had an oxygen mask to help me breath. They also let my dad sleep on a bed next to me, because they were planning for me to have surgery to fit a stent in my lungs and collect a biopsy.
The Worst Night Of My Life
Believe me, this is worth the new title.
I was scared, and even though my dad was asleep next to me, I felt alone.
Panic would erupt through my body every half an hour, making it so much more difficult to breath. The amount of times I had to push the help button was unbelievable, I had two special doses of masks that had gas to open up my airways to help me breath even better than oxygen, I even needed a dose of diazepam. To be honest, I didn’t sleep that night. The diazepam didn’t help. It’s scary not being able to breath!
So surgery day! I had waited all day for the surgery. Prepped and ready. I cried all the way to the surgery room. The surgeons were super friendly, and told me they would look after me, they held a mask to my face and I drifted off to sleep.
“There were complications during your surgery, so we couldn’t fit the stent. But we burned away some of the mass that was wrapped around your airway.”
Music to my ears. I wasn’t bothered about the stent, just the fact they did what they could so I could breath again. And that’s when I was admitted to ICU.