An uncontrolled state of mind, the intoxicating sobriety and the induced anxiety. The feeling of the unknown is bliss, but both are brutally co-existing. The evil and the good, tugging the rope of war, battling the thoughts inside my brain. Push and they pull, tethering the nervousness. Picking me apart like pigeons in a park.…
The first thought that ran through my mind when the doctor mentioned that I needed a PICC line was: what on earth is a picc line? I didn’t bother asking at this point as I knew it was happening just before I get discharged from the ward and that was in a few days. It…
I’ve been contemplating writing this blog ever since I was diagnosed. It’s a subject that actually means a lot to me, and it’s been playing on my mind for quite some time. Any life threatening situation can have a massive impact on your mental health and it’s so important that we talk about that and…
After completing six exhausting rounds of chemotherapy – it was time: the moment we have all been waiting for, and the life or death situation. It was calling. My first PET scan was meant to be a few weeks after my last cycle of chemotherapy and my first dose of scanxiety settled in. I didn’t…
My last round, number six, hooray! It came with a mixture of emotions: excitement, nervousness, and relief. Due to work, my mum only managed to come to my very first chemotherapy, so I was relieved she was coming to my last one. She had never been to a normal chemotherapy session, as the first one…
It was a strange and difficult start. I never expected my daughter to be diagnosed with cancer – who does? As the communications between their mother and I are complicated, it was a tedious start to the whole process. Nicole’s mum texted me to say that she was worried about Nicole, and that I should…
A horrible experience beautifully written. This poem entails my experience of being told that I have lymphoma. This memory will be planted in my brain forever, and I will never forget this moment. Just sit tight and let me get a doctor… Two minutes later, and then I clocked her. A trembling white face, as…
No person should ever have to experience cancer and all of the downs it brings. But with any life experience; there’s always something valuable you can learn from it. I definitely wouldn’t recommend cancer to anyone… it would get 0 stars on yelp from me, alongside a very negative review – it would probably look…
I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this anymore. Those were the first words that came to my head in the morning. Remember what you’re doing this for. The pit in my stomach was nothing like I’ve ever felt before. After this one, I’ll have one more left, I convinced myself. Just get through this.…
The title isn’t click bait, although I wish it was. But, 1) I wouldn’t do that to my readers, and 2) the title is true. Looking back at all my life experiences, especially during the past year – I thought I was going to die twice. I was inspired to write this blog after listening…
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Carcinoid and me!
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